5 WAYS TO DEVELOP SELF-LOVE

By Busola Omotoye

WHAT IS SELF-LOVE?

Self- love is realizing and accepting yourself for who you are. What makes this more interestingly frustrating is the fact that it is more personal than we think, this is because if a person can love himself, then he can love others. This explains the saying that you cannot give what you do not have.

Self-love is a state of appreciation, affinity and positive regard for oneself. It can also mean- not settling for less than you deserve. It is a state of having high regard for yourself, wellbeing and happiness.

It is however not narcissism or self-centeredness as it does not seek to boost or prove a point.

When you love yourself, you do not need affirmation from others. You do not need them to tell you that you are good enough, attractive enough and smart enough, you simply know that you are. Knowing this helps to increase your self-worth, self-confidence and self-respect.

The term self-love can have other definitions according to a person's understanding.

But in all these, it is germane to figure out what self-love is to you. This is because it plays a vital role in your well-being and also affects your mannerism.

HOW TO PRACTICE SELF-LOVE.

1 Never Compare Yourself to Others: When you compare yourself to others, you tend to lose yourself and your authenticity. Life becomes better and more enjoyable when you spend it being true to the real you and not someone else. Most times, this can however be unavoidable especially when exhibited by Parents to their children. This tends to create unrepairable damages to the child and should be greatly avoided. Nevertheless, it is always preferable to stay true to oneself.

2 KNOW YOURSELF: Socrates once said, "To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom". You must make sure to find who you really are- by taking time to understand yourself, your intellectual and emotional capacity, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and finding ways to work on them. Just because you can't assimilate things easily doesn't mean you should sit still and accept your fate. This is where you have to find what works best for you.

3 OVERCOME YOUR FEARS: We all have individual fears. it could be fear of being accepted, fear of sharing our ideas is public, fear of taking risks, fear of trying out new things, or even fear of the unknown. And this starts making us doubt ourselves and our capabilities-which is not supposed to be. Fear is only an illusion and continues to grow when we let it. We are all greater on the inside than we are on the outside but isn't it time we changed that? Even if everyone says you can't do it, should you say you can't as well? Have the courage to do you and be you and leave the rest.

4 BE KIND TO YOURSELF: Self-love starts by being patient, kind and compassionate with yourself. Treat yourself nicely and let it reflect in the way you talk, the way and manner you carry yourself, the things you let people say to you and how you conduct your daily activities. By doing this, you get peoples admiration without even trying to. Don't be too hard on yourself. Always try to develop yourself every single day and stay around positive thinking people who are also working towards their success the right way.

5 EMBRACE CONTENTMENT: Alot of people have lost themselves due to lack of contentment. Being content doesn't mean you don't desire more; it only means that you are grateful for what you have and patient for what's to come. Human wants are limitless and it's okay to want more but it's best to be satisfied with what you have while achieving your dreams.

BENIFITS OF SELF-LOVE

The benefits of loving oneself cannot be overstated for the person who loves himself. These benefits include:

1. Great Happiness: When you love yourself, you get to discover that you have this inner peace, happiness and satisfaction. You tend to create a mindset of acceptance which in turn increases your level of confidence. You become willing to accept your life stages, growths, strength and weaknesses. You start becoming more open-minded, thinking of ways to live life better, do things better and become a better version of yourself. You find yourself being in a competition but this time not with others but with yourself. This pushes you to take responsibility for your actions and helps you find ways to become better at it, hence increasing your productivity.

2. It allows you love more: When you love yourself, it creates the opportunity for you to love others and receive the love you give in return. If the love you give is reciprocated then fine but if it isn't, it's still fine. Besides you shouldn't give to expect in return. The love that is for you will find you someday.

3. It helps you deal with difficult emotions: Self-love helps you deal with difficult emotions like anger, rejection and even judgement from others. As long as you practice self-love, you can deal with even the most negative thoughts and emotions and feel good about yourself no matter what.

Conclusively, the greatest love a person can ever seek for, is the love of God. He is truly, all that matters because he created you and knows you better than anyone, even better than you know yourself. And no matter how much we love, develop and appreciate ourselves, we still need him to fill that void in us because we are incomplete without him. We need to connect with him.